It's actually 3:00 AM here in the city and I'm partially awake for no particular reason. This happens fairly frequently and the periods of semi-consciousness can last the duration of a good piss up to a couple of hours. The reasons can vary, too: tonight, the bedroom was hot and stuffy despite both windows being open.
Someone said stick a million monkeys in a room with a bunch of typewriters and eventually one will write Hamlet (a critic responded that with the internet, we can see that'll never be true). I myself struggle with the idea of fate and destiny versus chaos. Does God have a plan for each of us? Or do our significant decisions spawn alternate paths and realities? Perhaps this is why I like time-travel stories so the players "fix what once went wrong."
I am approaching the half-century mark and like most males my age, I am spending more time looking back and evaluating choices. On the one hand, I know things are locked and unchangeable yet I wish that I could go back and make up for the mistakes I've made that have hurt those near and far. A voice in my head says it's not too late for that but in some ways it is. Some hurts cannot be salved and some days cannot be redone and changed.
I would have done better if I cared more for other people than myself.
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